I’m 31.
Here are 10 tips I wish I told me at 21.
1. You have zero talent. You will think you are “good at things,” but you are not. Anyone can GET good at anything, but you have to work hard to get there. Others will be better than you at the start. That’s ok.
2. Consistency is a hell of a drug.
In order to get good at something, you must fall in love with the process and work at it every day. Something that seems impossible will become possible if you work at it every day.
3. Radical Candor is challenging your peers while being empathetic.
This constructive discourse is how we push each other to be better, and it is the nicest thing you can do for someone. You will always want to complement people, but sometimes, that is harmful if not true.
4. Always be constructive and action-oriented with your feedback.
“When person X does Y, it affects me by Z.” Never general, i.e., “Ug, this person sucks.” This way, you can know what actions are reprehensible, and what are worthy of repeating.
5. Never announce your goals
The social reward you get when people say, “Awesome goal!” will sap your motivation. There are certain cases where it’s okay to tell a coach or a teammate your goals, but only if you are 100% sure they will hold you accountable. Tell no one else.
6. Fail fast. Fail often. Learn how to fail.
Learn how to quit. Learn how to be wrong. Learn how to be dumb, don’t fear being dumb, and get better because of it. Many people think they know how to fail, but they don’t. Swallow your pride and admit you are wrong.
7. A goal without a deadline is just a dream
Set deadlines. Hit those deadlines. Treat those deadlines as sacrilegious.
8. Embrace feeling like shit
Toxic positivity is a thing. Always saying “I feel great!” when you feel like shit, in & of itself, is a shitty feeling. Paradoxically, saying “I feel like shit” when you feel it feels good.
Take time to feel like shit, but don’t make it your home.
9. “I don’t know what I want to do with my life” is a lazy person’s excuse not to try.
You will have to work and explore to find what makes you tick. Don’t just give up before you even get started. Explore. Know you’ll suck at stuff at the start, and that’s ok.
10. Your diet isn’t just the food you eat; it’s the content you digest, the people you surround yourself with, and the habits you develop.
Bonus 11. When you start to get depressed, ask yourself, “When did I work out last?”
When you don’t feel like working out, the cure is to “just work out.”
Tell yourself, “I will just show up,” set the expectations low, get a good sweat, and the endorphins will 10x your mood.
When I turn 41, I bet there will be at least ten more tips I wish I had told 31-year-old me.
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